Hetalia's Mulan
by clementineme
Summary: To save her father from going to war again, Feliciana Vargas cuts off her hair and takes his place, pretending to be a boy. She's a misfit among the disgusting and strong men, being clean and clumsy herself. With the Huns already attacking, what chance does she hold of keeping her true identity under wrap, getting past training, or even surviving the war?
1. Introduction

**_Author's Note: So, here is my first crossover (yay) it probably sucks... The name is no good, and it is sadly unbetaed, but still... Here it is! Sorry if the characters are a little bit OOC, this is my first time trying something like this. So... yeah! The future chapters will probably be better, but I am hoping that this doesn't suck. Constructive criticism is great!_**

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Feli's mother had allowed her to borrow a script that she could study from, and it was on this morning she could be found copying the chinese characters onto her arm. Feliciana's handwriting was unfortunately, though. She muttered the words to herself as she ate her breakfast, a bowl of rice.

"Quiet, and in line. Graceful, polite, delicate" Feliciana removed the brush from above her ear, copying the words onto her skin, "Refined, poised, punctual!" As if listening to her words, a rooster crowed at this moment, symbolizing the beginning to Feli's day.

The girl dropped her brush, and jumped from the bed, leaving the mess she had made behind as she ran from the room and called for her puppy.

"Hanamatago!" She ran through the hall and into the storage room, "Hanamatago!" She got to the end of the passage, but didn't see her dog. She turned back around "Hanama-ah!" Hanamatago was sleeping right behind her. "There you are!" Feli squatted down next to the sleeping dog, who instantly woke up at the sound of her voice. "Who's the smartest doggy in the world? Come on smart boy! Can you help me with my chores today?"

Hanamatago eagerly barked, and Feliciana poked a hole in a sack of grain, tying a rope around it and attaching it to a piece of bamboo and around the adorable dog's back. The bamboo hung right above Hanamatago's head. Using a short piece of string, she tied a dog bone to the top of the bamboo, instantly catching Hanamatago's attention. She ran to open the door as the bone led Hanamatago out of the house, depositing seed over the ground in a long, thick line.

The chickens eagerly fed as Hanamatago passed the family shrine, where Julius Vargas, Feliciana's father, prayed.

"Honourable ancestors, please help Feliciana impress the matchmaker today." An excited dog ran through the shrine, quickly followed by noisy chickens, "Please, please help her." He knew that the girl needed all the help she could get.

Feliciana herself was approaching the shrine by this time. She was fully clothed, her hair in a loose braid, and she carried a tray of tea. Walking up the steps, she gave Hanamatago the bone dangling above his head. She stood back up, walking towards the entrance.

"Father, I brought you-" The next word was supposed to be tea, but the two had accidently walked into each other, and the tray had toppled over, tea kettle and cup flying into the sky.

"Mulan!" Julius caught the kettle with his staff, but the tea cup shattered on the ground. He had already expected Mulan to mess up again, the clumsy girl that she was. There was no cup anymore, but Feliciana had prepared for this.

"I brought a spare!" She announced, pulling out another cup from a pocket, and pouring the tea that still hung from Julius's staff.

"Feliciana"

"The doctor said three cups of tea in the morning,"

"Feliciana"

"And three at night" She handed Julius the cup.

"Feliciana. You should already be in town. We are counting on you to-"

"Uphold the family honour," She had heard it all before. and already knew that her father was nervous about this, "Don't worry, father, I won't let you down." She hid the writing on her arm behind her back, pulling down her sleeve, "Wish me luck!" She turned around, rushing down the stairs.

"Hurry!" Her father's voice called after her. She just vaguely heard him say "I am going to… pray some more." Before she was out of earshot.

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**_It wasn't too bad, was it? Review, per favore! Tell me what was good and what sucked! Should I continue?_**


	2. Honor to Us All

**AN: Wow... The song part was kinda awkward to write, don't kill me~! I know it's not great, but at least it's something...**

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The town was busy as usual. Carts raced to and fro, and Katyusha waited for her daughter's arrival. Katyusha was a patient woman, but today was so important, and Feliciana wasn't even there yet.

"Of all days to be late…" She sighed, "I should have prayed to the ancestors for luck," Behind her the voice of Julchen, her mother and Feliciana's grandmother sounded.

"How lucky can they be? They're dead! Besides," She walked forward, holding a small cage with a cricket inside to eye-level, "I've got all the awesome luck we need," She smiled at the cricket, before addressing it "This is your chance to prove how awesome you are!"

With this the old woman closed her eyes and, putting a hand in front of them, began to cross the road. She didn't open her eyes when carts crashed behind her, creating a scene of destruction. It was only once she had cleared the road that the insane old woman removed her hand.

"Yup!" She shouted across the room to Katyusha, "This cricket's an awesome one!" The cricket himself, whose name was Matthew Williams, although the humans didn't know this, fainted in the cage.

The annoyed Katyusha sighed, closing her eyes in a vain hope to get some peace and quiet from her insane family. The sound of a horse neighing brought the distressed woman back to Earth, and she saw Feliciana approach. The girl more fell than jumped off and addressed her mother.

"Ve~, Ms. Katyusha! I'm here!" A piece of hay stuck out of Feliciana's hair, causing Katyusha to sigh again.

"Feliciana,"

"I was just-"

"None of your excuses." Off to the side, Julchen made a comment,

"They're totally not awesome" But it was ignored.

"Now, let's get you cleaned up," Katyusha said, leading Feliciana inside, to be prepared by another woman.

*IMAGINE THE SPOKEN WORDS AS A SONG*

"This is what you give me to work with?" The woman pushed Feliciana behind a changing curtain, and helped to remove her clothes "Well, honey, I've seen worse. We're going to turn this sow's ear" Feliciana was pushed into a soapy bath, "Into a silk purse"

"Ve~ It's so cold!" Feliciana muttered, shivering in the freezing water.

"It would have been warmer if you got here on time" Katyusha said. The woman poured a bucket of warmer water into the bath, speaking again.

"We'll have you washed and dried, primmed and polished 'till you glow with pride" She shampooed Feliciana's hair. "Trust my recipe for instant bride. You'll bring honour to us all,"

Katyusha took Feliciana's hand to file her nails, but saw the writing on her arm.

"Feliciana, what's this,"

"Umm… notes! In case I forget something" She tried, noticing the hopeless look on her mother's face. Julchen entered, handing the cricket to Katyusha

"Hold this," She commanded, "You'll need more awesomeness than I thought"

Feliciana was quickly removed from the bath and put in a white dress. She was sent into another room, where yet another woman came to help with the hair.

"Wait and see, when we're through. Boys will gladly go to war for you," Feliciana felt the women tying her hair into some intricate design on top of her head, but she couldn't see what was happening.

"With good fortune, and a great hairdo" A mirror was put in front of Feliciana so that she could see the red ribbon trying the hair on top of her head, "You'll bring honour to us all,"

In another moment they had thrown a light blue shirt over Feliciana's white dress and told her to follow Katyusha out of the door, and through a small part of town, where she swore she heard someone singing

"A girl can bring her family great honour in one way; by striking a good match, and this could be the day!" Feliciana was taken to a small shop where a woman with a lot of cloth began to wrap her in blues, reds, and pinks.

"Men want girls with good taste. Calm, obedient, who work fast paced, with good reading, and a tiny waist," They pulled a piece of red cloth tight around her waist, causing Feliciana to gasp, "You'll bring honour to us all," The three women who had helped her dress all smiled at their accomplishment.

Now that Feliciana was completely dressed, her mother led her across the street.

"We all must serve the emperor who guards us from the huns; A man by bearing arms, a girl by bearing sons!" Yet another woman put white makeup on Feliciana's face, with a little bit of blush, and applied lip paint.

"When we're through, you can't fail. Like a lotus blossom, soft and frail. How could any fellow say no sale? You'll bring honor to us all" Katyusha took a pretty comb with a flower on it, placing it in Feliciana's hair.

"They're. You're ready." Her mother smiled, and Feliciana felt extremely proud of herself.

"Not yet!" Julchen came into the room, "An apple for awesomeness." She put an apple in Feliciana'a mouth, "A pendant for double awesomeness." She put a cricket into a pouch on Feliciana's new outft, "Beads of jade for beauty" She put a necklace around Feliciana'a neck "You must proudly show it. Now add a cricket, just for luck. And even you can't blow it!"

Feliciana left the house by herself, to join the line of women. Suddenly feeling subconscious, she tried praying to her ancestors,

"Ancestors, hear my plea. Help me not to make a fool of me, and to not uproot my family tree. Keep my father standing tall." Katyusha ran up with her umbrella, which she took to hurriedly join the end of the line, who she knew all had the same thoughts as her.

"Scarier than the undertaker, we are meeting our matchmaker!" Thinking about this, she heard all the mothers and fathers speak.

"Destiny, guard our girls, and our future as it fast unfurls. Please look kindly on these cultured pearls, each a perfect porcelain doll." Feliciana tried her best to imitate the women in front of her, still not walking correctly.

All the girls, once again, had the same thought.

"Please bring honour to us"

"Please bring honour to us"

"Please bring honour to us"

"Please bring honour to us"

"Please bring honour to us all"

*SONG IS OVER*

All the girls stopped in front of the matchmaker's house, squatting close to the ground and opening the umbrellas in front of themselves. The matchmaker slammed open the doors, examining a tablet, then called the first name.

"Vargas, Feliciana"


End file.
